Bachelors Abroad: Age Is No Obstacle
The men gather after a festive night and regroup for the dates they have scheduled for the next day.
I went to a talk given by John Adams (AFA owner) 7 or so years ago. He claimed that over 80% of men on his tours get engaged to a woman they met on the tour. I've had several friends (4) go on one of their tours and of all of them they knew of one guy who got engaged while on or as a result of the tour and he had been in contact with the girl before going on the tour. I've been to Ukraine and Russia more than 20 times and am married to a lovely Ukrainian woman. You are not going to meet your future wife on one these tours. If you want to go sight seeing and have someone hold your hand while traveling to the former Soviet Union fine. You'll see some pretty women, eat some good food, help fund Mr. Adams business but, you're not going to meet someone for a relationship; a few working girls yea but not the future Ms XYZ. The truth is AFA and other "agencies" are a scam whose function is to separate lonely guys from their cash.
If they show the other six segments it will dispel most of what you are whining about. I agree with one of your comments that these three were not great examples. I was the one on the film clip above that would not open. Even though she said age was not an obstacle I made it clear that it was. The people running this tour did a very good job of telling all of us to be age appropriate but two of these three blatantly ignored it. They should have put the larger group who were successful in starting meaningful relationships on the premier show instead of saving them for later. There were ladies who were in their fifties and forties as well. Remember it is all in the choices you make. Most of these guys were very happy with the approach and tour. I was and WOULD recommend it. I do not understand why we should believe someone who cannot even write coherent sentences and thinks he is an expert! It is the people and what intelligent use of this opportunity they make of it as to whether it will be successful. Close to 80% of these marriages work, where as American marriages are successful at best 50% of the time. Even if you dispute these figures you have to admit no marriage is perfect or stands much of a chance at surviving. These guys should be given credit for trying. I also agree with you that the biggest hurdle is helping the lady feel at home. AFA also has advice on this that tends to be ignored as well. I also did lots of travel on my own and met people but I thought this was much better. I am very happy with someone age appropriate that has traveled here and I back there with a future planned. The other shows should be better representations.
if you realy sow that Bachelors Abroad show, you should have seen this circus like atmosphere , with these men being overwelmed , by these young and attractive women. and each one tried to play it of in their own little way.
one guy looked like he was a class clown, and he hoped humor would mask his fear. one old guy couldn't stop talking about his ex-russian wife , and totaly looked like that this was the last place he wanted to be in and looking for an escape. and this 3rd guy, who showed to be some police dude, and he desperately wanted to marry, was awkward and figity.
even one guy stated a very obvious fact, that non ov these men would get anywhere close to this attention , from any aged women, in america, let alone super attractive girls in their twenties and thirties, it was like them being fish out of water.
and did not know how to react to this scene. thats exactly what i seen, with my own eyes, when i was in kiev, oddessa, poltava, moscow and st.petersburg, when i was at these old pats places. since i speak fluent english and russian, it gave me a real birds eye view , of these strange couples trying VERY hard to show sincere interest in each other, usualy all for the wrong and apposite reasons.. i have many of these stories and non , that i know, end in a mutualy positive way.
i even know when age didn't play any role, where both parties where of similar age, and even those relationships fail very quickly, usualy initiated from the ukrainian / russian side .
i NEVER used any of these dating / marriage sites , because its mostly a dog and pony show.
its usualy a game, who will get over whom first. and usualy its the young ukrainian / russian female that wins.
because most of these older men, are like sheep brought to a slaughter :))))
i also used to speak to some of these girls, and after she became at ease , with me, they would tell me some
of their stories and experiences with these foreign men. and most of them where funny, to me,
but i'm sure it wasn't funny to those men. i have dated a few of these girls long term, and i even have a 7 year old daughter in moscow that i support, and now i have a 30 year old woman, who already had a U.S visa , when i met her online / skype , and two and a half years later , she is still with me, even though its far from perfect.
and she has not seen her parents and family during all that time, and that's the biggest sticking point that she has at present time. and this brings me to the other major hurdles, american men have , if they do luck out, and are able to bring one of these woman back to the states, that once they do, sooner or later , but usualy sooner , that these girls become home sick ,
since they have no family or friends, of their own here. and usualy they can't relate to their husbands / fiances friends and family . i speak to a few of these girls on skype and sometimes even to their husbands , and i hear, see and understand things, that their husband either are clueless to them, or is living in denial. and a lot of them are already are making plans to leave them, even wanting to go back to ukraine / russia. if these women have no children, of their own, with them here, i believe that 80 to 90% will leave these older men, within 3 years
i have been to ukraine and russia, a combined over 100 times, over 22 years,
and i have met way too many girls / women , that i can count.
and in my travels, i met many a men , who where anywhere from their forties to late sixties,
coming from america, canada , and many countries from the western europe,
and in most cases, these relations don't work, on many levels.
besides the age difference, there are cultural , economical and mentality differences.
in most cases, these girls / women get involved in these meetings ,
is to leave their dead end and poor lifestyles and / or to try to get this naive, desperate and much older
foreign man to give her easy money, buy her stuff and rent her apartment , and basicaly subsidize ,
a life she could never afford , by her self. i met one guy in kiev who subsidized his supposed GF ,
her best friend and her mother , and after a few years of this, it drained most of his army pension,
and he still believed that it was a REAL relationship and that she cared for him.
he was about 50 years old and she was just 19. on top of that, he NEVER had sex with her ,
because as he stated, ' he wanted to save this moment, for their future wedding night '.
since i speak fluent russian, and i'm very familiar with their cultures and mentalities,
it was much easier , for me, to avoid most of the pitfalls that come with these connections .
I wish the video clip worked. I have an age gap with my Ukrainian wife that is over 20 years and it's not the problem people would think.
You have written an excellent post!Itotally agree that the men that attend these socials are not prepared of whatthey are about to face and the Russian/Ukrainian woman always come outvictorious.
These Gang tours are set up to be verydisproportionate in ratio of men to women for obvious reasons. To make the menfeel overwhelmed by the number of women present. Many of the ladies are intheir early 20's - too young and not mature enough to evenconsider marriage with a much older gentleman from the West.
I've been on a tour so I have seen how theyoperate. Have heard that it is a mad last minute scramble for the agency tofind enough women to attend therefore ads are placed in the local newspapersannouncing that a tour is coming to town. Flyers are posted around city centerand women are contacted that have current profiles, hoping they bring along someof their friends. This can be seen as abreach of safety for the men in attendance but this does not seem to be a bigconcern for the AFA staff.
I met some ladies at the socials as well as onthe outside. When you engage in conversation with them, many will agree thatthey attend for the fun. It's a freeevening out being among friends, they go for the games, prizes, free champagneand Hors D'Oeuvers that are served. I even heard that Anastasia agency pays theladies to attend their socials...
Some women will get lucky enough to meet a man and be invited to go out on a date. Have dinner at a nice restaurant that the ladycannot normally afford themselves. An interpreter is usually present and thiscan create awkwardness for the gal and the man.
It is difficult to make a connection at thesesocials because in the event that one happens, it's usually time to move on to the next cityin a day or two. There are feelings offrustration and 90% of the men will go home empty handed and have no feelingsof real relationship.
One lady that I dated, I questioned her true intentions right fromthe start. She seemed to be desperate to get married and she asked me. If weshould ever get married one day would we be able to send money to support herfamily back home?Hmmm! not something most men think about. They do feel homesickness sooner or later thisis true. I know this! This is a serious problem for them because it is harderfor some women to adjust to their new environment.
It is important to mention...How will you communicate with each other? if she only speaks Russian and the tour guydoes not? Communication is important inany relationship! You cannot have an interpreter with you at allwaking hours of the day and evening ...
Good Luck to all !Manythings to consider.......
@Mark Davis What would you consider the biggest obstacles or problems?
@Mark Davis What about 30 years